#3. Give someone a shot

I have some very scary things on my summer list: hold a baby alligator, do a flip on a trampoline, watch The Sound of Music. This one, though, takes the cake.

When I mentioned this idea to my friends and asked for suggestions, most came up with practical things like, "You can ride a horse" or "shoot skeet". Not my friend Amy. Her immediate response was, "You can give me a shot!" This is just the way she thinks. It's sort of why I love her.

Amy struggles with a very real and debilitating disease. And while things are slowly getting better, she is forced to take a lot of medication and give herself injections every day. Except yesterday. Yesterday, I got to do it.

Amy showed up around 5:30, having put off her daily 2:00 injection just for me. She dumped what seemed to be an entire doctor's office on my coffee table (she even has her own waste container!) and told me to hurry the hell up. I really thought I'd have some time to warm up to the situation, but Amy said no, we had to do it immediately. Sometimes she's really pushy. ;)

It was really scary!!! I pretended to be brave, but I was sweating my ass off. Especially since I knew Amy was really nervous too. And I won't lie, she had to hold my hand when I inserted the needle. I just didn't think I could do that part with no help.

But I think I did pretty well - no blood, no eruption of medicine back onto her leg. I slapped a Band-Aid on it, wiped the sweat from my brow, and marked #3 off of my list.

This one might not seem like a big deal. But, it was a tangible reminder of what my friend goes through on a daily basis. I will openly admit that I can be very self-centered, worrying about the minute details of a fairly monotonous daily life, complaining about what I have and wishing for what I don't - and often forget how much other people are struggling. Sometimes you have to see something for yourself, be a part of it, touch it with your own hands, for it to take on its most real meaning. Life is real, it's short, and it's not easy for anyone.

2 days down. All summer to go. Stay tuned.

The Omelette

Ahh, summer. I do love summer. No school, no students, no practices, no (for the most part) commitments. Two and a half months off was a deciding factor in the profession I chose, after all. Life is easy this time of year. I wake up when I want, go to sleep when I want, take a shower when I want...

Unfortunately, along with the relative ease of summer life and the general lack of structure inevitably comes...boredom.

And what follows boredom?

Laziness. Sloth. Sluggishness. Lethargy. Alcoholism. Weight gain. Self-loathing. (Do the last three happen to other people?)

So here I am, on the second day of summer vacation, face to face with another day, another 16 hours stretching out before me like a canvas begging to be painted. Please, Amanda, don't leave me blank again today.

And then came the decision that will, hopefully, change my life.

I decided to make an omelette.

I've never made an omelette before. Successfully, at least. I tried once a few years ago but attempted the fold too quickly and it all fell to shit, and I gave up on all things domestic for a while.

But this omelette...this omelette was different. It was made of egg whites. It was accompanied by an e-how article with pithy instructions so that I didn't eff it all up. I was patient. I followed directions. And in the end, it turned out beautifully. It folded. It was cooked through. And as I sat at my breakfast table and admired it, the proverbial light bulb was illuminated and two hours later, here I am, writing this blog.

So everyone has a "Bucket List", 100 things they want to do before they die, etc. I am no exception; there are a million things I still have left to do before the big day comes.

However, those things take time and money. And while I certainly plan to drive a Volvo through the Italian countryside and drink Guinness in Ireland someday, I'm not quite financially able to do that yet. But what I am able to do is think of all the simple things I've never done that don't necessarily cost money, and don't take a lot of time, but are still valuable and inspirational.

So, thanks to three egg whites, a frying pan and a spatula, I have a new and brilliant plan. Every day this summer, I will pick something simple I've never done (ex: rollerblade, watch Casablanca, make a cake from scratch), complete it, and check it off my list. And I plan to blog about each item on the list.

I'm still in the process of coming up with items for the list. I'm about 1/3 of the way through, thanks to some great friends and their creative little brains.

So what do I hope to gain from all this?

1.) Well, first of all, I'm two days into summer and bored as hell. So my practical side tells me that by having a plan, maybe I will gain structure and not weight.

2.) I haven't done a whole lot in my life. I was very shy as a kid and self-conscious, so there are a lot of things I could have done by now and just never did because I didn't like to fail in front of others. So, yeah, while I've traveled to a few fancy places, there are a lot of simple things that other people have done that I just never have. So I hope to gain some pride, I guess you could say.

3.) As I compile my list, I notice that most of these items either require someone else's help, or will be better shared with another person. So not only will I feel proud, and accomplished, and powerful, I hope that, most importantly, I will gain some new, fun, and special memories with those I love the most.

Day 1 down. Here's to: following through, new ideas, being brave, putting yourself out there, and of course, a very special egg-white omelette.

Cheers to '09

So my sister posted a blog suggesting that we all stop for a moment, think about the past year, and focus on the things we did well. I think this is a great idea; honestly, I spend a lot of time dwelling on mistakes and indiscretions rather than successes. But overall, this was a good year. Sure, I screwed up a time or two. Sure, I tried and failed more than once. BUT, I also succeeded at accomplishing some pretty cool things. So to follow my sister's positive lead, I'll name the top five things I did well this year.

1. Watched Duke play at Cameron Indoor Stadium

Interestingly enough, the greatest accomplishment on my 2009 calendar happened on the last day of the year. On New Year's Eve, two of my favorite guys and I walked in the rain and fog 15 minutes down Science Boulevard in Durham to Cameron Indoor Stadium, a place I believe to be the best venue not only in college basketball, but maybe in all of basketball. Walking in to the Gothic style building, I got chills, thinking of the players who roamed the halls, the sweat, blood, and tears that have been poured out on that hollow hardwood floor, of the legacy that is almost tangible in that gym. The air is heavier for the history. It was absolutely beautiful, absolutely sacred. That game was, by far, the coolest thing I've ever done. Hearing the shoes squeak on the hardwood, the crazies chanting and clapping, the eruptions of the crowds, I remember thinking, "I hope this is what heaven looks like."

Oh, and Denzel was there.

2. London and Paris

Over spring break, my two very best friends and I boarded a plane and headed to London. After spending three days there, we got on a train, took a two hour nap, and woke up in Paris. Ever since I was young, I dreamed of visiting Paris. But truthfully, I never though it would happen. I have always felt like I was one of those people who was only ever going to wish I was doing things, rather than actually doing them. But in October of 2008, we made a decision to just buy a plane ticket. Over the next few months, we booked hotel rooms and train tickets, and around $1200 and a 9 hour plane ride later, we landed in Europe. And I think a part of me is still there.

3. Made the playoffs

Yes, we barely made the playoffs. Went 7-7 in district, lost games we shouldn't have, and had our destiny in another team's hands on the last night of the season. I remember rushing to Nederland to catch the end of their game, knowing if they won we lost our spot in the postseason. One of the best memories I have is watching the ball go through the net and knowing we were in, and hugging one of my seniors as she jumped up and down.

Yeah, we got 4th in district. And yeah, we got our ass kicked in the first round. And yeah, I hate losing and am still disappointed. BUT...we went. And for those twelve kids, that's what will matter ten years from now. It's not about me, really. I had my chances in high school. I breathed the playoff atmosphere, I lived success in those games. But my days are over. It's about them now.

4. Got named 20-4A Coach of the Year.

I'm not a person who likes to brag, so I hate to even put this on the list; however, I'm not adding it because I feel like I was the best coach in our district. I certainly don't feel that way. The reason I'm proud of this accomplishment because at 26, after three years of coaching, I earned the respect of a lot of people I respect. You see, the coaches in the district vote on Coach of the Year. And while I certainly understand there are several coaches who are better than me, I feel like they gave me this award as a nod. Just to say, hey, you are doing a good job with what you have. Noted.

5. Spent time with the best people on earth.

I love my friends. They are all so different, so unique, so freakin' cool. What makes a good friend? Well this year, 1) I found that good friends always answer your text messages. Sometimes it's a couple of hours later, but eventually they all respond. For some reason, to me, this says a lot about a friendship. 2) They come to important things in your life. They watch girls basketball when they don't care about girls basketball, because they are good friends. 3.) They make you feel better when things suck. They say things like "keep your chin up homie" and "I miss you" and "You didn't really like him anyway." They tell the truth and they lie when they need to, but they always, always, make you feel good.

I'm not perfect, not even close. But I feel like it when they are around.

***

Sure, there were some things about this year that were really hard. I've seen some good friends drift out of my life. I've made mistakes - I've spent, drank, cussed, and bitched entirely too much, saved, prayed, and exercised entirely too little. I've lived. And I've done some really cool things, and spent time with some really cool people. I'm getting older, getting wiser, and hopefully, getting better.

I read a book this year called Looking for Alaska. I love young adult novels, and this one was great. The main character loves reading the last words of famous people, and I was enthralled with the last words of the late poet Francois Rabelais: "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." I chose it for the title of my blog, and if I ever get a tattoo, that's what it will say. I got a little closer to my Great Perhaps this year. And if this year is any indication of the year to come, I'll still be seeking it in 2010. My suggestion to you, my few and dear readers, is to get out, see the world, take chances, dive in with both feet.

Move.

Create.

Seek.

Cheers.